Dear friends, the English translation for the Chapter 4 of Free Fall : Renaissance, my sequel to the German movie Free Fall / Freier Fall, is finally here ! I apologize for the lateness, I know a lot of you have been waiting for it !! But it’s available now =D Don’t hesitate to write a comment to give your thoughts about this chapter and your expectations for what’s coming next 🙂 (or if I made a weird translation, nobody’s perfect xD).
It has now been a little week since Max is by my side. Colleagues have been very surprised. I had to adapt to this new rhythm of life. I am so absorbed by Max that I forget Kay little by little. His memory slowly crumbles inside of me as days go by. In a way, it relieves me, because it helps me let my fears behind me. Max is my new priority, and sadly I can’t continue to wallow in self-pity if I want to be fully present for him.
I was eligible for a few days of paternity leave as an exception, but this period ended the day before yesterday. Luckily, Matthias’ brother Lukas has proposed his help to keep Lukas yesterday and today. Even if he is quite free with his cashier job, Lukas works part-time and is not always available. So I will have to find a baby-sitter quickly.
As Bettina asked me, I didn’t try to contact her. And I didn’t have to. Yesterday evening, I received a surprise visit from her. Her first words were :
– I am sorry, Marc …
At this point, it is no more time to be sorry. We have discussed about this sudden reversal of situation. I told her I accepted the care of Max, despite everything it implied. That I was even ready to leave my job if necessary. She announced me she was going to South America for a month with her sister, because she needed to have a break after this whole story. I said nothing. Now that I have Max, I have my own problems to handle, and I don’t have time to take care of Bettina’s. If she wants to leave, so be it.
Today, after work, I discuss with Matthias in the locker room.
– I am in the shit, I admit to him.
– Why ?
– Your brother can’t help me forever to keep Max, and I don’t have a lot of solutions. I thought about taking a baby-sitter, during the time I will need to get a stable situation to handle all of this, but it’s not that simple. I really want to find a trustworthy person.
– I recognize it’s not easy to find the suitable person. You know what, I will ask Steffi if she knows someone.
– Thanks, that’s really kind.
When I get back to the apartment, Lukas is preparing the dinner for Max. I go take Max in my arms then join Lukas. He smiles to me.
– Lukas, thank you so much to have accepted helping me, I tell him.
– Oh, you’re welcome. I don’t do a lot, you know.
He takes a short pause and looks at me with his puny gaze.
– However, I am sorry but I won’t be able to make it tomorrow. My boss called me to do extra hours.
– Damn, it comes at the bad time, I say while I cradle Max. Your brother promised me to ask Steffi if she knows someone, I cross fingers so she can accomplish a miracle !
Lukas packs his stuff then grabs his bag.
– Here you go, everything is ready Marc, you just have to give Max his meal. He is really adorable and calm, it is a pleasure to keep him.
– Thank you.
– So, it’s time for me to go, see you !
– Wait, I hail at him before he leaves while replacing Max in his cradle.
I go grab an envelop in a drawer then give it to Lukas.
– There, this is for you.
– What is it ?
– Some money, to thank you for helping me.
– Marc, I … says Lukas before giving me back the envelop, embarrassed.
I say no with my head.
– Keep it for you ! Now go.
One hour after Lukas has left, I give Max his meal and drowse some moments on the couch. I try to find a solution for tomorrow. Either I pretend to be sick to keep Max, or I find someone. I am extracted from my thoughts when I feel my cell phone vibrating in my pocket. It’s Marc calling.
– Hello ?
– Marc, I found your solution !
This is Steffi’s voice.
– Hi Steffi.
– I’ve got a friend, Lena. She just finished her childcare studies. She seeks a job in a school, but she hasn’t found anything yet. So meanwhile, I was thinking she could serve your purpose. She is 25 and very nice, you’ll see.
I think about it for a few seconds.
– That’s ok. Contact her and ask her if she can begin tomorrow morning at 8am. Lukas will not be able to take care of my little guy. So I really need her if she is available.
– Count on me, I’ll let you know as soon as possible.
We hang up. I really hope this Lena will be what I need, otherwise I’m in the shit. If I’m not able to raise my child properly, social services could very well come across me and take Max away from me forever to replace him in a host family, and I really don’t want this to happen.
A few minutes later, I receive a text message from Steffi. She confirms me that all is ok and that Lena will be able to begin tomorrow morning. Phew ! I let out a sigh of relief. It is already late and I don’t have a minute to lose. Tomorrow, I start at 8.30am, and everything needs to be ready for this Lena to take charge of Max. I immediately begin to gather important stuff, to wash Max’s dirty clothes and to tidy up what’s lying around. Even if finally, I realize that Lukas has already done the most of it, so much that I don’t have a lot to do. Once all is over, I cradle Max who has already fallen asleep, and, exhausted after this hard day, I myself go to bed. Max is very calm during the night and I only have to wake up once.
Around 8am, while I’m drinking a tea and I’m eating a buttered toast with ham, someone knocks at the door. When I open, I discover a very beautiful young woman on the doormat. Her iris tinted with green and hazel perfectly fit with her long ginger hair. Small and discreet freckles strew her prominent cheekbones and her large forehead. Her lips are fleshly and luscious. She addresses me a smile and hold out her hand.
– Good morning, I’m Lena.
– I’m pleased to meet you. My name is Marc. Come in.
She penetrates in the corridor and we move to the small living room.
– Thank you so much for having accepted to help me, especially so quickly, and so early.
– You’re welcome, she says to me with a little sweet voice. This is normal. That’s a perfect timing because I was searching for a little job meanwhile, as I just finished my childcare studies.
– Yes, Steffi explained me that..
She addresses me a new smile to which I answer. Her aura does not leave me indifferent.
– Come, it’s time to meet Max and explain you where are the things you will need.
We discuss for fifteen minutes and look over everything she will need to take care of Max.
– So, I have to leave now, I announce her. Duty calls me!
– Good Luck, Marc. I’m sure everything’s will be ok with Max. Isn’t it, sweetheart ? she whispers while kissing Max that she’s holding in her arms.
When I come back in the evening, I briefly explain to Lena my actual situation, my story with Bettina, taking care of not revealing anything about Kay. I just tell her that the couple I formed with Bettina was doomed to fail and that we had preferred to split up. Lena shows herself to be very comprehensive, and it touches me.
Several exhausting days flow by, and I inwardly thank Steffi for finding Lena. Everything suits perfectly, and she relieves me from a considerable weight. On the evening, I’m able to spend some time with my son without having to preoccupy myself about the rest. Of course, it does create a hole in my budget. This is the reason why, every time I get the opportunity to take care of Max myself, I don’t ask Lena to come.
However, I’m starting to experience a strange feeling toward her. She is very attractive and irresistible. Her charm doesn’t leave me unmoved. Some sort of connection sets in between the both of us since a few days. So much it’s now been two days I invite her to stay for dinner.
We are precisely eating a potato salad, and she addresses me a conniving gaze.
– So, how’s been your day ? she asks me while eating a piece of potato.
– For once, it was less exhausting than usual. I’m really wondering how I would handle all of this if I had to take care of Max every day. Thanks again to you, Lena.
She throws an embarrassed smile at me. Suddenly, I feel her hand slide onto my thigh under the table. As I don’t know how to interpret this movement, I friendly touch her hand, even if her gesture wakes up desire in me. She seems confused and removes her hand.
Some days later, I start a leave period of five days, and Lukas has asked to keep Max today, which I accepted. I took advantage of this opportunity to invite Lena to go outside for a walk, as the sun is shining. After a wander in the shopping center of the city, we go to a nearby park. The atmosphere is calm.
– Thanks for offering me to go outside, but you know, I could have kept Max, says Lena.
– It’s a pleasure for me to spend time with you, I admit timidly.
– Me too, she whispers to me.
Suddenly, I feel her fingers gently touch mine, and we start walking hand in hand. At the beginning, it makes me feel a little bit ill at ease, but I let nothing appear about it. Something restrains me, disturbs me, even if I’m happy to spend some time with such a kind and attractive person.
At a moment on, we stop to sit down on a bench with a view on the lake of the park, and Lena fixes her gaze on me. Her face comes slowly closer to mine, until I feel her lips touch mine. We start to kiss tenderly, and I answer her call. I close my eyes to savour this moment.
Then abruptly, an image of Kay crosses my mind. I immediately detach myself from Lena, and a feeling of anxiety and regret insinuates into me, stabs me.
– I’m sorry … This is not possible. I … I love someone else.
I remain speechless. It got out all alone. I put my hand on my mouth, half chocked. I just said I loved him. That I still loved Kay. Lena stares at me with a lost and incredulous expression. I rise from the bench and turn towards the forest.
– Sorry, throws softly Lena while joining me. I didn’t mean to push you around. I … I thought … that you needed to relax, to change your mind. It was stupid coming from me. I can leave if you want, you don’t have to keep me as baby-sitter after this.
I slightly pivot in her direction, confused.
– No, it’s ok. How could you know ? And I need you for Max. Let’s leave it there.
Lena gets closer to me, and I turn my face towards hers. She discovers my eyes filled with tears.
– What’s going on, Marc ? It’s been two weeks since we know each other now. Nothing prevents you from talking to me. Explain me everything.
I hesitate for a moment when seeing her sadden expression. She looks honest.
– Can you keep a secret ?
We sit down on the bench again, and I tell her all the whole truth about my past. Bettina, Kay, Gregor. All is revealed.
– Oh, Marc, I am so sorry, she says while taking my hand. Why haven’t you spoken to me about all of this earlier ?
– This is not the kind of thing you tell everyone, Lena. It can literally break a life. And do a lot of harm.
– So … this Kay, you love him ? He is this “someone else” ? she questions me.
– Yes, I confess with difficulty.
– But where is he ? Why don’t you try to find him again ?
I look at her with a little smile.
– This is what everyone keeps telling me lately. But I don’t know. I don’t dare try. I’m afraid to discover what Kay has become. To be disappointed. Maybe he has found someone else. Maybe he would not even accept to see me again.
– But what do you have to lose Marc ? Go ahead. Stop asking yourself those questions. You have five days of leave that are beginning. This is the moment or never to take the most of it. If you want I can keep Max during that time.
– You would do this for me ?
– Of course. If it allows you to feel better and go forward. And Max is an angel. It’s not like if I had to keep a little demon, she smiles.
Lena comes back home with me. We separate in the courtyard of the barracks. Before leaving, she says softly while putting her both hands on my shoulders and looking me straight into the eyes :
– Think about my proposal. Send me a message if you wish me to come tomorrow and the other days.
– Thanks, Lena …
She kisses my right cheek.
I have dinner in company with my son and Lukas. I confess him that I plan to find Kay back. After all, Lukas was the first to have instilled me that idea and have motivated me to do so.
– I’m proud of you Marc. This is the only solution if you want to have answers, he congratulates me.
During the night, I sleep very bad. All that happened those last few days, and most particularly today, worries me. I see Kay in my dreams asking me where I am. I weight the pros and the cons. Find him again ? Leave him ?
When I wake up in the morning, my decision is taken. I’ve contacted Lena. I’ve prepared a travel bag. Everything remains to be done now.
I’m coming, Kay.