Chapter 6

Here finally comes Chapter 6 of Free Fall : Renaissance ! I hope you will appreciate it because I know you were quite a lot to wait for it given to the numerous positive comments I got 🙂 I would like to thank you all once again for your great support. Yesterday, my website reached a record number of 203 daily visits, this is amazing ! Don’t forget to let me a little comment to give me your opinion ^^ Good reading, and see you soon for Chapter 7 !

I drive straight to Düsseldorf. The journey takes me a few hours. When I finally arrive, it is very late in the night and I’m exhausted. By doing a quick search on my phone, I find a cheap hotel located at the border of the city. I decide to book a room there in order to rest myself and start my researches tomorrow.

I’m so excited at the thought of finding Kay back that I’m hardly able to sleep. When I wake up it is 9am. I take a quick shower, then have breakfast in the hotel restaurant. After having eaten, I go to the reception to book an additional night.

I take the car and drive to the Düsseldorf town centre. It is about 10.30am when I get out of my Golf. I have absolutely no idea where to begin. I have no phone number. No address. No contact. Kay could very well be everywhere and nowhere at the same time. It’s like looking for a needle in a haystack !

However, there has to be somewhere to begin with. So I decide to walk aimlessly in the streets of the centre. At least to discover a little bit the surroundings, as I’ve never been in this city before. I meander like this for three hours. Feeling the hunger coming up in me, I buy a sandwich that I devour quickly. I am unable to stand still. I’m so on edge to be so close to Kay but to have no idea where he is exactly.

After my lunch break, I head myself to the banks of the Rhine where I walk along, thoughtful. Who knows, maybe Kay is also walking alone in the city. Maybe we are both wandering, like two solitary and lost souls. No, he surely has found a new job.

I’m suddenly extracted from my thoughts when I catch sight in the distance along the promenade of a man from behind with short blond hair, with both the frail but athletic stature of Kay.

– Hey ! I shout in his direction.

There are so many hubbubs that the person doesn’t hear me. I start to run in his direction. But the crowd is so big that when I arrive at the place I thought I noticed Kay, I don’t see him anywhere. People turn back when I pass on and look at me with strange faces.

– Pfff, I must have illusions. This entire story is going to my head, I think in a whisper.

I sit down on a bench and decide to make a quick call to Lena to have news from Max.

– Everything is going on fine, she reassures me. Max is in the best of health. What about you ? Do your researches bear fruit ? Still no trace of Kay ?

– No, not really. But I’m getting closer to my goal. Someone told me he was in Düsseldorf.

– What ?! Düsseldorf ? You’ve gone that far ? That’s a bit of a trek, says Lena, surprised.

We continue to discuss during a few minutes then hang up. I continue my stroll, but, as I’m at the end of my tether, I find it preferable to go back to the hotel. I stay a couple hours in my room looking at the TV and dozing.

Suddenly, an idea crosses my mind. I remember that Kay loves nightclubs, and there must be a lot of them in the town centre. This thought gives me a renewal of energy. I quickly change my clothes and dash directly to my Golf in order to join to centre of Düsseldorf. It is almost 11pm.

After having walked a few minutes, I find what seems to be a hip place. I get inside and order a glass of alcohol to relax. I can’t help myself to examine every entry and every departure hoping to see Kay. I stay two hours before taking the initiative to change to another place. I’m wasting my time, there must be dozens of night clubs in a big city like Düsseldorf.

I walk along several streets before going up in a large artery called Bahnstrasse. The street is quite lively. At one point, I come face to face with what seems to be a gay club, named 2Box. I enter it by any chance and sit down on a small sofa. A few minutes later, a waiter comes to take my order. I choose a double whisky.

While drinking my glass, I observe with curiosity the numerous persons passionately swaying their hips on the dance floor to a background of electro music. It reminds me the terrible weeks I lived after Kay’s disappearance and my break-up with Bettina. I had become used to this kind of place because of my nervous depression. It was the only way I found to escape from reality. I came back every time dead drunk. I almost got fired from the police team because of my constant lateness and my bad performances. Luckily, from one day to the next, I decided to never set foot again in this kind of clubs and I rather started to run again in the forest to evacuate my anxiety.

I look at my watch : it is almost 2am. I feel like my face is burning and decide to refresh myself in the toilets. When I enter the room, I don’t notice anyone. I head for the washbasin, run the water then rinse thoroughly my face. It makes me feel way better. When I lift my head, I discover in the mirror that I’m not alone.

In the extension of the toilets where the WC cubicles are located, I see the legs of someone lying on the floor, as unconscious. The rest of his body is hidden behind the wall, which extends the toilets perpendicularly. As I do not see very well what is happening, I turn back and decide to get closer, surprised. I discover another old man with a paunchy belly kneeling over the torso of the person on the floor. Most likely two drunk guys giving themselves over to a suspicious hobby. But the man on the ground doesn’t move at all and seems really unconscious. The old one is fondling the other guy unbeknown to him. It worries me even if I know I should not interfere. Certainly my cop instinct.

When I get a little bit closer to see the person on the floor, I discern a washed-out jean, a beautiful white and soft skin, a black t-shirt. An angelic face, magnificent blue eyes and golden blond hair. Kay is just in front of me. He is the one lying on the ground.

The old man lifts up his head in my direction and looks at me with a sadistic air :

– So, what the hell are you doing, are you gonna stay there ogling or will you enjoy with me ?

At first, I don’t reply nor I move, totally shocked. Then, like a thunderbolt which doesn’t warn, I feel an irrepressible furiousness rise in me.

– You disgusting faded pig ! I grumble.

The man stares at me, surprised. I rush at him. I feel madness invading me. I grab him by the scruff of the neck violently, administer him a punch in the face then throw him away.

– Clear off right now before I crush your head beneath my feet ! I scream.

The deviant leaves the toilets in all haste, afraid.

– Kay ! I scream with all my strength while flinging myself at him. I lift up his back.

I stick my face to his. I feel tears flood my face and I see them reach Kay’s cheeks. I can’t believe Kay, my Kay, is here with me. We are finally reunited after all these months. What an incredible coincidence ! How many chances did I have to find him now ? For the first time, I feel like destiny is giving me a little help. But I would have preferred to find Kay in a better state even though.

– Kay do you hear me ? Wake up !

I try to shake him softly, in vain. I pull up his pants, which had been untied by the old pervert. Then while frisking quickly Kay, I discover in the palm of his left hand a sachet filled with pills. I also find LSD in one of his pockets. He took drugs. And he lost consciousness. Or worst. I thought he was only drunk. I feel panic swell in me. I check his pulse. He still breathes. Swamped by fear, I don’t see other solution than calling Emergencies with my cell phone. Someone answers and after having asked me the address and little details, I am told that an ambulance will arrive as soon as possible. But I have already stopped listening.

All my attention is now focused on Kay. His face once radiant and smiley is lifeless and it worries me. I hold him very tight in my arms. I try to warm up his cold body. We stay there on the floor for what seems like an eternity. I didn’t even take the time to warn someone in the club. All that matters to me is to create a protective envelope around Kay with my body. I don’t want to let him go away. Not anymore. At a moment on, I see Kay opening slightly his eyes. I suddenly feel his hand grasping mine strongly, and my pulse accelerates.

– Kay ? Kay ? It’s me Marc ! Don’t worry, I’m here ! You have nothing to fear ! I am back ! I say to him while fixing his woozy eyes. It seems to me I glimpse a little smile on his lips but I’m not sure of it.

Kay loses consciousness right away again. I fear the worst. Luckily, a few seconds later, two people who must be the owners of the club penetrate in the toilets in all haste, accompanied by emergency doctors.

– Why the hell did you not warn us ?! yells at me one of the bosses.

I don’t know what to answer. Then, everything happens so quickly that I don’t understand anything. My heart beats wildly. Kay gets snatched from me. He is extracted from the toilets. I try to lift up and follow the cortege to the outside of the club.

– What happened ? I’m asked briefly.

– I don’t know, I found him unconscious on the floor. I … I think he took a large dose of drugs, I explain while trembling.

Two doctors place Kay on a stretcher and put an oxygen mask on his face. A first-aid worker shouts at me and asks me additional questions about Kay, like his first and last name. While I’m occupied with the worker, I barely have the time to turn back to see Kay being shoved in the ambulance truck.

– Can I come with you ? I beg at the first-aid worker.

– Are you family related to this person ?

– No.

– I’m sorry, you can’t follow us then. We have to go right now, he will surely need a gastric lavage. Hoping that he survives, of course.

I feel like receiving a hammer blow on the head. I stay unmoving. In less than fifteen seconds, the ambulance has started and disappears in the darkness. I collapse on the ground. I shout in rage. The echo of my voice reverberates through the whole street. Several persons look at me but I don’t pay attention to them. I didn’t even think of asking where Kay was about to be brought. And no one took my phone number.

Barely do I find Kay back that he is taken from me straight away. Why is fate so cruel ?

Chapter’s Song

I chose this song from Mylène Farmer (probably the most famous female singer in France) in duo with Jean-Louis Murat for its extraordinary and spellbinding beauty. The story of two separated souls, one « alive », the other « dead », and which as a consequence cannot really meet up. This is also likely the same case for Marc and Kay for whom destiny don’t do any favor. But one must always keep hope alive and believe in his lucky star, otherwise no chance is given to tomorrow.

Hello ! Here is Chapter 5, well motivated to write it following your warm comments. Eh Eh I leave you languishing, when Marc will finally see Kay again ?? Or perhaps never ? Continue to read Free Fall : Renaissance to find out 😀

Chapitre 5

Contrary to what I had imagined, track down Kay, or at least his new living place, was not that complicated. A brief look in the police files to which I could have access thanks to an internal contact taught me Kay had asked for a transfer in a town located about 80 kilometres far from here.

It took me around two hours to reach that city. Once arrived near the obtained address, I park in the street. I hesitate during what appears to be long minutes before getting out of the car. This is completely crazy. What am I about to say to Kay ? How will he react when seeing me ? I tremble just by the thought of it. The last time I saw him, I clearly suggested him it was preferable to leave in order to avoid troubles and I had abandoned him. He will never be able to forgive me.

I reflect on this entire story. Actually, I have been a perfect egotistic from the beginning to the end with Kay. This is him who has always bent over backwards for me, to help me, for us to live our relationship secretly. And I have almost never expressed all the love I truly felt for him in return. He was entirely right when he said me “With you Marc, it’s always me, me, me”. I never thought about him, about his problems, about everything he could feel. By the way was he really in love with me ? Maybe our relation was just physical. At least, I will know for sure when I will see him. As for me, I know I have deep feelings towards him, otherwise I would not come up to here.

When I finally decide to get out of my Golf, I join the building where Kay is domiciled. It is the beginning of the evening, and I dare hope he is home right now. When I arrive in front of the block, I realize an entry code is necessary to get in, and there is no intercom.

– Scheisse.

I’m blocked outside. This only thing I can do is go back to my car and hope having the chance to see Kay get in or get out. Just when I am about to leave, an old woman waves at me and come open the door.

– You come to see somebody ? she asks me.

– Hello. Yes, I come to visit Kay. Kay Engel.

– Come in young man, I’m the janitor.

I penetrate in the entrance hall of the building.

– Are you sure you are at the right place ? Kay has vacated the premises not so long ago, she says to me while turning over.

I am surprised and terribly disappointed at the same time by this announcement.

– How long ?

– Nearly two weeks now. He has departed so quickly, in all haste. So well that he has left a mount of stuff, and the landlord pesters me for his apartment to be cleared. There are a lot of personal objects, I don’t know where to start.

– Would you mind showing me his apartment ?

– No, no problem. Follow me.

We take the stairs to go to the second floor. The old woman opens the door of the apartment.

– Have you forgotten something at his place ?

– Uh, yes, I lie, destabilized by her question. He had borrowed me a document I need urgently.

– Very well, I let you. I will verify that the cleaning agent has washed the bathroom and that it is in order for the first visits meanwhile.

While the janitor is leaving, I go in Kay’s bedroom. Everything is tidy and the bed is made. I can’t help myself sitting on it and breathe the sheets while sweeping my hand on them. I have the impression of smelling the sweet scent of Kay.

My gaze turns upon the bedside table. I open its drawer and find with surprise a damaged photo inside. I grab it and discover with emotion a shot of Kay and I we took during a jogging session we made in the forest. We are smiling and we look happy. I had completely forgotten that picture. I had let it to him because I didn’t want to take the risk that Bettina finds it, even if it would have change nothing in the end.

Emotion rises in me at the sight of this beautiful image, so well that tears start to fill my eyes.

I get up and join an adjacent room filled with darkness. When I open the light, I discover with surprise a place full of paintings and sketches left as they are.

– Young man, your friend has left many drawings and paintings, as you can see, tells me the janitor while arriving at the bedroom doorstep. Isn’t it what you’re looking after ?

Surprised in my loneliness, I discreetly dry my tears and turn toward her.

– What are you talking about ? Uh no, the canvases don’t matter.

She joins me and enters the room.

– Have you found what you were looking after then ?

– No, I say while hiding the photo in one of my back pockets.

– So this is maybe in this room after all. Cast a glance there.

– Kay has created all of this ? I say with astonishment.

– Indeed.

I never knew Kay was drawing and painting. He never talked to me about it and I never saw any painting in his last apartment where we used to see each other. I’m struck when looking more precisely at his drafts to realize they all represent a masculine figure.

– I’ve discussed a little bit with Kay, he confided in me sometimes. He was a solitary person, with a hidden nature, explains to me the old woman. From what he has told me, all these paintings represent a boy he used to know, a certain Marc.

I feel a thrill travel across my back but let nothing of it appear. I then approach myself from other canvases and observe closer the drawings. There is no doubt we can recognize some of my physical features on them.

– What looks strange, is that Marc seems so sad on these canvases. Like jaded, bitter, she says to me.

– Or heartbroken, I mumble.

– Kay never said to me who this Marc was.

– Maybe he was just his model ? I throw to cover myself in case the old woman would recognize me from the drafts; I prefer to stay discreet as much as possible.

The janitor gets closer to me and points a finger upon several sketches.

– It may have started that way, but it became more. Look at the way he … captured Marc. The curve of his back. The softness of his skin. Kay was under the spell of Marc, spending every waking moment painting him. He was in every brush stroke. I know it doesn’t concern me, but Kay loved this man, it’s obvious.

– But they were not together, I say trying to put up a smokescreen. Kay never talked to me about a Marc.

– Frankly, I find that hard to believe. I don’t know, maybe Kay wanted all this to remain secret. Maybe they broke up. Painting was probably the only way Kay had to be able to live this romance.

– But if they loved each other so much, I asked, why would Marc push him away ?

– Maybe there was someone else, someone that don’t wanted them to be together. Or Marc didn’t feel worthy of Kay, he doubted the way he felt about him. Or all of this together.

I remain silent a few moments. Until I notice the gaze of the janitor looking hard at me.

– You’re Marc, isn’t it ? she questions me.

I gave myself away.

– Yes … I admit in a whisper.

– I figured it out the moment I saw you arrive. I was telling myself that your face was familiar to me. I had already seen it on those sketches several times.

I don’t know what to answer her.

– It is not for something that you came back. It’s for Kay.

– And he is gone now, I finally answer her, bitter.

A few tears flood my face.

– I love him so much. I would give anything to find him again, I say while touching smoothly one of the sketches, which represents me in Kay’s arms, as if nothing could separate us, as if we were together for eternity, frozen into that pleasant position.

– I can perhaps help you. The only thing I know is that before leaving, Kay told me he was heading to Düsseldorf, to flee as far as possible. To start over.

– Did he give any address ? I ask feeling an insane hope invade me.

– No. As I told you, he left so quickly.

I stay a few more minutes inside the apartment. I take care of getting back some drawings as a souvenir, in case I would never see Kay again. I dry my tears and after having warmly thanked the old woman, I leave the building.

In the street, I take back out the photo where I am with Kay. Why do you escape me when I finally decide to repair my mistake ?

I hold on to my deep desire to see Kay again. As long as I won’t have found him, I won’t surrender. I get back inside my car and turn on my GPS.

Direction Düsseldorf.

Chapter’s Song