Chapter 8, finally ! A chapter tremendously awaited by a lot of you because it marks the most important turning point in this fanfiction, the very reason why I created it in order to please myself and the others. To compensate a thing that frustrated us all : Free Fall’s ending ! I don’t say you more and I let you discover all of this. Just as a reminder, I still have 2 chapters to publish before it all ends 🙂 Have a good read and gros bisous ❤
After several hours of driving, I come back home totally exhausted. It is about noon when I arrive. I find Lena and my son Max with a great pleasure. After these intense past days, I feel like I need some calm and most importantly some rest, and the fact to be with Max do me a world of good
– He has been very quiet, announces Lena, who is cooking a meal with a succulent smell.
I hold Max in my arms and he does a great smile to me.
– I’m starving !
– So sit down, says Lena while preparing plates.
I’m so hungry that I serve myself up twice. Then, down on my last ounce of strength, I head to my bedroom where I collapse on the bed. I sleep almost all the afternoon. Sunday comes to its end and Lena leaves the place. She will come back tomorrow to take care of Max.
The next morning, I get back to work with difficulty but I am happy to see Matthias again. During one mission outside of the barracks where we are together, I tell him about the last news and announce him that I have found back Kay.
– I am really happy for you buddy, he smiles at me while patting on my shoulder.
On Wednesday evening, we all go have a drink in a pub of the city. Lukas and Lena are also there. Max sleeps peacefully in his pushchair.
I go out have a smoke with Lukas and also inform him about my difficult reunion with Kay.
– I go back to Düsseldorf on Saturday. I hope he will be there.
– If he loves you and still cares for you, he will be, Lukas reassures me. You have still and all made that entire trip to find him while you did not even know where he had gone. He cannot ignore that. A few people would have done the same, Marc.
– I know. But this is also thanks to you and the others. You have all offered such an amazing support that I won’t ever know how to thank you all. You made me aware that I had to move myself.
– And it was worth it. I sincerely think that Kay will be there.
Despite Lukas optimistic words, I don’t receive any call from Kay during the week, which worries me a lot and casts doubt for a while on my will to go back to Düsseldorf. Did the nurse who took care of him hand over my paper ? Or is it maybe Kay who does not wish to hear about me anymore ? But a promise is a promise and I will go to Düsseldorf on Saturday morning.
The rest of the week passes at an incredible speed and I avoid asking myself too many questions. On Friday evening, I am not able to find sleep. The bay windows of my bedroom are wide opened and the curtains are floating in the air. I observe the stars in the cloudless sky, contemplative. I can’t stop to worry myself sick thinking about tomorrow. I’m afraid that Kay won’t be at the meeting. Maybe he hasn’t forgiven me to abandon him. To have been selfish. Maybe he has even someone new into his life. I banish all those negative thoughts from my head as best as I can while trying to be optimistic, but it remains difficult.
Finally, morning rises and now it is not possible to turn away anymore. My destiny is underway. Lena arrives around 7am to keep Max for the whole weekend, as I am not sure when I will be back. I finish packing a small suitcase where I’ve put the necessary things then head towards the living room to say goodbye to my son. When I’m about the leave, Lena joins me.
– Good luck, she whispers to me while kissing me on the forehead. I hope you will find what you’re waiting for.
– Thank you, I say, a bit stressed.
I finally take the car and drive to the train station where I take my train for Düsseldorf. The trip lasts a couple hours during which I stay totally impassive and silent. I think of nothing. I only feel a ball of anxiety intensifying little by little inside me, as the train gets closer to the final destination.
I arrive in the Düsseldorf train station around 11am. I scan the platform as the train slows down to finally stop. I grab my suitcase and get out of the railcar. I stay unmoving on the platform and look around. No Kay to be seen. I start to move forward to join the inside of the train station.
What can I do except waiting ? Maybe Kay has already come, already waited and has already left not seeing me arriving. It is true I was not even able to specify him when I was arriving as I did not have any mean to contact him directly. I should have perhaps taken a train before to arrive early enough. Something I had not thought about.
During long minutes, I stare at the travellers going back and forth. I feel like an intruder in this crowd in movement. Not being at my proper place. Little by little, the train station gets empty, very few trains landing on the platforms. The calm reappears. Being unable to stand still, I get up and start to pace up and down through the building.
I’m losing my time. Kay didn’t come, is not there, and won’t come. How to forgive an idiot such as me, despite all the possible efforts ? How to forgive someone who abandoned you at the moment where you needed support the most ? I ask myself how I would have reacted in Kay’s place.
Lost in my confusion, I don’t notice that I stand rooted alone like an imbecile right in the middle of the strain station. People around me must think I am crazy.
But suddenly, I hear a voice in the distance, behind me. It reaches my hears like an unhoped melody, one that I thought I would never hear again. I immediately recognize this typical, sarcastic tone :
– I didn’t think I would see you again one day.
I only need a fraction of second to recognize Kay’s voice. I turn around, stupefied, stunned, unable to believe it.
He stands there, in front of me, fifteen meters away from me. His face is magnificent, his look angelic, his air fragile. He has a much more beautiful appearance than the one from last week at the hospital.
No word is able to get out of my mouth. We look each other for several seconds. I feel like I face a mirage, or an illusion. But he is really there, I don’t dream, I’m sure of it. I’ve been waiting this moment for months. However I’m afraid of tempting anything. Is he furious ? Will he send me packing ? Whatever.
I let my suitcase fall on the floor. Tears start to trickle on my cheeks. I stagger slowly as a zombie towards him. He launches his usual little lopsided smile at me and begins to walk in my direction too. It puts my mind at rest in one go.
We literally throw in each other arms. This is only when I feel the contact of his skin that I’m sure I’m not dreaming. In this specific moment, nothing else matters. Time has frozen. I hold him as tight as possible, not wishing to let him go. His sweet fragrance reaches softly my nostrils. I don’t how many seconds, even minutes, we stay like this, embraced.
Then, finally, he whispers gently in my hear :
– You’ve come back.
I finally manage, with difficulty, to let escape fragments of words.
– Kay, I am so sorry.
He loosens from me, takes my face into his hands, and with his thumbs dry my tears.
– Let’s talk about this later.
Without warning, he throws an ardent kiss at me to which I succumb instantly, powerless. Several months ago, I would have sharply pushed him away, embarrassed, stuck in the constraint of decency, of the unsaid things, of shame. But today, I’ve changed, and I don’t give a shit of people around me or what they can think.
I answer Kay’s invitation by kissing him languorously. I feel like a part of the nightmare and my demons are dispelled, exorcised. I live a moment of pure happiness. One that I have not lived since a long time ago, except for Max’s birth. Life finally offers me an illuminated flower after having left me cloistered in dark room.
I press my forehead against Kay’s. I run my fingers across his golden hair.
– Thanks for coming, I murmur him tenderly.
– No, Marc. Thank you for finding me … and to have saved my life, he replies while sticking his face against my cheek.
It is as if we had never left each other. As if our past complicity was intact.
– Come, let’s go for a stroll, says Kay. We have a lot to talk about and to catch up.